Yes, you’ve made some mistakes. Yes, you have perhaps rebelled and smoked some pot but honestly Official Blanche Notorious B.E.A shirt by tshirtat store, this should not be enough to shatter a parent the way it has your father. He is placing far too much responsibility on your shoulders for his own emotional stability and happiness especially since your diagnosis of bipolar. This is not a healthy environment. Honestly, I’m not surprised you cracked under that kind of pressure.
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Anyone would experience intense emotional trauma with that kind of weight being placed on them at such a young age Official Blanche Notorious B.E.A shirt by tshirtat store. The first thing you need to do is forgive yourself for behaving like the child you should be allowed to be. I’m not saying to continue the behavior or the path you were on but you need to be able to allow yourself to make some mistakes in this life or you will never be happy.
No one should be denied a childhood because their parents are unstable. You have stated that you can’t but you haven’t said why. I’m assuming you have seen a professional in order to obtain a diagnosis of bipolar. Something like bipolar needs to be monitored and maintained in order for you to lead a healthy and balanced life. This may include medication and it certainly includes counseling. I strongly suggest you seek out a counselor. It sounds like the whole family could use one but you can only control what you do.